The GAMSAT “Plan-demic”

Behold – a very serious conspiracy theory…

So me ol’ mate Bill Gates (Gatesyyyyy!!) and I got together recently at the World Health Organisation headquarters for a celebratory cigar and scotch (with obligatory monocles and evil laughter thrown in, of course) to pat ourselves on the back for our successful 2020 Covid ‘Plan-demic’.

We were able to really let loose that night, you know, how only lizard people can.

The next day, blurry-eyed and a bit dusty from too much Lizard juice and Tonic (LJ&Ts)…

We decided to get serious and moved onto our biggest challenge yet…

Coming up with a GAMSAT preparation plan for the new online GAMSAT. One that will help busy students or full-time employees prepare for the ‘Tsunami’ exam we’re going to have in March 2021.

I’m calling it the ‘Tsunami’ exam because all the people who were using the “OMG it’s online!” excuse to not sit the 2020 GAMSATs (I mean seriously, you were born with a smartphone in your hand) have no choice now but to suck it up and sit the March 2021 exam.

Our overlord lizard compatriots at ACER have deemed that the GAMSAT will always be online from here on out… always.

No more paper GAMSATs ever. It’s all online now.

As a result, there will be more people sitting the next exam than we saw in 2020 and perhaps ever before… hence more competition for the limited positions in medical schools.

So back to the prep plan for the online GAMSAT…

I have some great news, my conspiracy-loving friend.

We succeeded!

*Insert evil laughter here*

We took our lessons from the May and September 2020 online exams, ran it through our Big-Pharma A.I. computers, and solidified an Online GAMSAT Game Plan like no other.

We’re calling it the….get this… the Online GAMSAT ‘Plan-demic.’

Get it…?

Because it’s a preparation ‘plan’, hence the ‘plan’-demic.

Anyway,

That one killed it at the Lizard meeting.

But if you’re still reading this email, I don’t know why :), I can tell you right now that it’s a GAMSAT preparation Game Plan that will show you:

* How to start your preparation and when to start it.
* How to manage GAMSAT study and full-time work so that you study effectively with the time you have.
* What you need to do differently to increase your score if you’ve done the GAMSAT before, even if you work full-time or have kids.
* What to actually study for each section of the GAMSAT (including the science section)
* How to avoid the 3 common mistakes made but most people doing this exam (the non-lizard people, off course. The lizards have it covered)
* Why most people fail and how you can avoid the same fate (without having to sell out to Gatesy and Big Pharma)
* How to thrive in the online exam where there are no annotations and you have to type everything… because OMG it’s online.
* And how to thrive no matter what unexpected changes occur with CV19 or the GAMSAT

But you’ll have to wait!

This plan will only be unleashed on the unsuspecting GAMSAT population after this weekend, on Monday, starting here in one of my obviously Big-Pharma sponsored emails.

So watch this space!

But whatever you do… don’t wear a face mask while reading it on Monday because according to ‘research’ those masks actually activate the virus that is already inside you.

As you wait for that fateful moment check out this interesting article about how the whole Covid ‘Plandemic’ thing got started. Interesting read about what happens when you ignore science and facts.

Enjoy the weekend,

Dr “GAMSAT Plan-Demic” Tom

P.S. If you believe any of the CV19 conspiracy theories rather than actual science, please email me so I can have some fun with your responses… and I can get Gatesy’s mates to start tracking your movements because you’re obviously onto us and have to be stopped.